Category: ‘Hollywood Squeerz’

Unabashedly Jelly Elly: Move over, DG

September 20th, 2011

How Jelly is Elly right now?

Unabashed Blushing Bride-to-Be: Mrs. Michael Kors

August 20th, 2011

I wonder which one is the bossy bottom.

Unabashed Boom! The Best Liz Taylor Film Evah

March 24th, 2011

“I may have met him sometime, somewhere, when I used to like to meet people, before they all seemed to become the same person over and over again and I tired of that person.”

“Shit on your mother!”

“Now tell him what I want put on the table: a cold bottle of mineral water, suntan lotion, cigarettes, codeine tabs, a bucket of ice, a glass, a bottle of brandy…”

Unabashed FOB: Friend of Barbie

January 8th, 2011

Well of course she couldn’t be of Barbie’s precious ilk; just take a gander at that mid-section!  She’s Barbie’s friend—-mayhaps a longtime roommate…

Unabashedly Lo-Ham: F U

July 8th, 2010

To You From Me

Unabashed Casting Recall: James Franco as Allen Ginsberg

June 13th, 2010

Thumbing through my LA Gay and Lezzie Film festival guide, I was forlorn to see a too-attractive wasp sitting at a typewriter wearing a white tee and Buddy Holly glasses with the word “HOWL” next to it and, moreover, the name “James Franco” under that.  I say Goddamn!  Put a hot guy in anything and gays will eat it up.  Shit.  Ginsberg wasn’t a hot Aryan, he was a handsome Jew.  James Franco is a mere showpiece, a tart.  Where’s Jeff Goldblum when you need him?

It's fun to be a gay beat poet!

Unabashed Queer Manifesto

May 5th, 2010

Unabashed Dream Deferred

May 1st, 2010

To be the only white female cast member on In Living Color.

You have to be in the back of the cast photo but you’re still the only funny cracker bitch.

Unabashed Call Out: Doug Benson is Gay

April 21st, 2010

Now I’m not one of those gays who thinks everyone is gay but comedian Doug Benson is gay.  Fine.  Mum’s the word, I don’t care.  But when you start fronting like you bow at the velvet meat curtains, I have to call a queen out.

While partaking in Pot Christmas, April 20, I tuned into the lackadaisical 2007 documentary, Super High Me, starring Mr. Benson, and knew I was watching a fellow sista.  He has the walk: the stiff, controlled gait of a man with a secret.  He has the voice: a throat that’s not satisfied without a dick in it.  And, finally, he has gay face (see link).  He’s a classic closet case using marijuana to avoid his gay reality.  It’s okay honey, I get it.

Beneath the Sheets

I wouldn’t bother to bring this up except that in one scene of his stand-up comedy which is interspersed throughout the film, Benson starts talking about how pussy is one of his favorite things other than weed!  Now this is where I draw the gay line: you don’t front like you prone to pussy eating when you’re really a Cockstruzel.  Please.  The only pussy he likes is cat.  His pussy of choice is asshole.  The pussy he visits most is a glory hole in a park restroom.  In which case, I like pussy too.

Unabashed Defecation: Do the Doo

March 30th, 2010

Okay, I used to dream of creating my own satire of the NOH8 campaign called NOSTR8 and maybe one day I’ll realize that dream.  Until then, there is DEFEC8…and my Queerty article about it.