Category: ‘Hollywood Squeerz’

Unabashed Schooling: Sandra B. READS Kathy G.

February 25th, 2010

I came across audio from the Howard Stern Show with guest Sandra Bernhard waxing poetic on fake, phony, and one shtick pony, Kathy Griffin.

Feasting on a Kathy Salad

Feasting on a Kathy Salad

Stern: We had Kathy Griffin here yesterday.

SB: Oh God.  Jesus Christ.

Stern: Tell me your feelings.  I want to know because you are an elder statesman of comedy.

SB: Well she’s no spring chicken but listen…she came to success late in life.  She loves my ass and she’s come to see many times and she’s taken my basic premise which is to disseminate pop culture.  However, when you’re somebody of my level and intellectual ability, I take it and I layer it.  I don’t just throw a cake.  I  give you a seven-layer sacre torte.  She came and took the base elements of what I did and–who can’t put on a Kate Gosselin wig and go “Gahgaghgahgahgah!”  I mean that’s all she does, “Gahgahgahgahgah,” like a shrieking harpy freak.  Every time she has a special on Bravo it’s the same fucking special every goddamn time.  I’ve written fifteen shows in the past ten years and every one of them touches on something new and interesting that is really revealing where we’re headed as a culture.  I don’t just jump into the waters of present culture.  I’m on the precipice of what is happening.

Unabashedly Fashionly: Yours Truly

February 17th, 2010

MattIntell

Can’t a bitch get her low-fat cappuccino without flashbulbs popping?

Unabashed Throwback: A 1990′s Joke

February 9th, 2010

Why did the gerbil get stuck?

He couldn’t get out of Gere.

gere

Unabashedly L.GAY: Coming to an LA Gay/Les Center Near You

December 30th, 2009

The LA Gay & Lesbian Center aka the House of Hues aka the El Gay aka the the (Yes I) WILLtern aka the Club (I never say) NOkia–is THE performance venue for all of our most treasured queer legends.  And I DO use that term loosely.

screen-3_014I was tardy in reporting one of the funniest queens this side of Anaheim, a one Miss Leslie Jordan, who was performing her one woman show, Full of Gin and Regret.  Look her ass up on the google-net, facebook her, suck her dick and receive $75 or a new pair of sneakers.

Have no fear cause the queen of quirk, our very own Major Tom Space Oddity, Miss Beth Lapides (Lah-pee-dis) is beaming into the Renberg Theatre on Saturday, January 9, for one-night of her solo show, 100 % Happy 88% of the Time.

Bethy started out on those mean, penis-centric Hollywood comedy club stages back in the day and DID THINGS HER WAY…  bethlHer UN-CABARET comedy workshops provided me a soothing environment, not unlike Desitin on a fat lady’s thighs, in which to get my start speaking my gay mind to the peoplez.  And look where I am now!  I got a blog, some videos on YouTube, and just filled out $755 worth of grad school applications.  Don’t hate the player, hate the game, y’all.

Speaking of PLAYAS…don’t nobody fuck with the real queen bee…whew jenifer_lewis_actresslawdy my fingers are on fire just typing her name, MISS JENIFER LEWIS, as I live and breathe.  She started out on Broadway as one of Bette Midler’s Harlettes and has since become known as the black mother of Hollywood.  She sings, she acts, she dances…she holds nothing back; just the way we like it.  So definitely see her show, HOT FLASH, this February.

Unabashedly Roseanne: My New Mug

December 29th, 2009

photoUPDATE 12/29:

boss

Unabashed Promotion: Says Oprah

December 18th, 2009

Says Oprah to this plane crash survior:20090924-tows-stephanie-nielson-2-290x218

“You know I recently interviewed Whitney Houston and she has a song out now called ‘Didn’t Know My Own Strength,’ which is my favorite cut, number seven on the album…”

I GOT YOUR BACK, GIRL

I GOT YOUR BACK, GIRL

Unabashed Queer of the Week: The Butch Bi Bad Girl

December 2nd, 2009
I'm American-Albanian, The tattoo is the Albanian 2 headed Eagle sybolizes strength!!

"I'm American-Albanian, The tattoo is the Albanian 2 headed Eagle sybolizes strength!!"

King Latoofah

rizzo

Season 3 of the Bad Girls Club paraded its new stash of vile, self-hating whore-wenches.

Like an apparition, a healthy bodied, unhealthfully eye-browed, hard butch appeared.  Her name is Florina but you can call her Flo.   Imagine Rizzo from Grease mixed with Latoofah from Set It Off.  Flo “likes girls and guys.”

But only guys with vaginas.  She stands to get a lot of drunk poo-say this season.  Go get ‘em girl.  Turn those bitches out.

From Flo’s website:

FLO is in the building ayoooo aighhhttt!!! LOL..

Unabashed ME! True Hollywood Story

September 16th, 2009

I balanced being completely self-indulgent with being 100% honest; even if it means placing myself in a less flattering light.  Because that’s the Unabashed Queer way, y’all.

etrue1

Read the ME! True Hollywood Story here.

Unabashed Queer of the Week: Queef Latina AKA The L Word

September 4th, 2009

latifah-set-it-off

Latoofah is such a roughneck brother, I could m’bate to her in “Set It Off.” 

She be gettin reeeaallll lax about her “personal life,” praise be to my gay god. (more…)

Unabashed Sing-Along: Mike Tyson, Meryl, & Jon Lovitz

September 1st, 2009

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ol6vr5_CY1o

So much better than “We Are the World,” because “Voices that Care” had the balls to use A-Z list actors who can’t sing.  It was produced as a morale-booster for troops in Desert Storm and the proceeds were given to the Red Cross or something. 

Skip to 3:20′ish to see the randoms come out: Ted Danson, Chevy Chase, Mike Tyson (as mentioned), fuckin’ Kurt Russell. My favorite is the close-up of Sally Field, Alyssa Milano, and Fred Savage (singing his little heart out) at 3:45.

The only person missing is Marlee Matlin (and her gay sign language interpreter).

jack_marlee5

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