Fuck Hurt Locker, I wanted Jeremy Renner ever since I saw him portray serial killer, Jeffrey Dahmer, in the film, “Dahmer.” I would let him fuck me, carve me up like so many Thanksgiving turkeys, and devour me any old day.
I thought I saw him once when I was drunk in West Hollywood and I was like, “You, you’re Jeffrey Dahmer–no, no, no I mean you played Jeffery Dahmer.” And he denied it. And I was like you’re not a big enough star to deny that you are who I know you are. Rude.
This post was written last week during the 2nd part of the Real Housewives of Atlanta reunion:
I choked on my tofu stir-fry last night when Andy Cohen, the Bravo network exec (who turned himself into on-air personality [eye roll]), compared Real Housewives, Kim and Nene, to AbFab’s Patsy and Edina. Pssshhhh! Only in their wiggiest dreams. Those ignorant bitches don’t even know who Patsy and Edina are.
Furthermore, Andy Cohen, you annoy the ever-loving shit out of me, you high-falutin’ gay media honcho. But I’d fuck you–and by I’d fuck you, I mean you’d fuck me, of course.
Bossy Bottom in the house.
httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ol6vr5_CY1o
So much better than “We Are the World,” because “Voices that Care” had the balls to use A-Z list actors who can’t sing. It was produced as a morale-booster for troops in Desert Storm and the proceeds were given to the Red Cross or something.
Skip to 3:20′ish to see the randoms come out: Ted Danson, Chevy Chase, Mike Tyson (as mentioned), fuckin’ Kurt Russell. My favorite is the close-up of Sally Field, Alyssa Milano, and Fred Savage (singing his little heart out) at 3:45.
The only person missing is Marlee Matlin (and her gay sign language interpreter).
The LA Times reported today that AHF (AIDS Healthcare Foundation) filed complaints against 16 production companies that refrain from using condoms in their films.
My article, “Business Before Pleasure?,” was originally published on the Advocate website in an edited format on August 12, 2009. It was removed from their website today.
Here is the UNABASHED draft as submitted to the Advocate. (more…)
OK! Magazine’s “Last Word” with Margaret Cho:
LAST TIME I WAS STARSTRUCK
I went to go see PJ Harvey, and I really wanted to go backstage and meet her, and she said no [laughs]. I was devastated.
Yes, my vote for who should portray Michael Jackson in his inevitable upcoming biopic goes to Miss Kimberly Denise Jones AKA Lil’ Kim Queen Bee. With Meg Ryan co-starring as sister, La Toya.
Brian was sick of hearing about a co-worker’s tuna-scented fingers and the BEST FACEBOOK STATUS exchange EVER ensued…Click HERE.
