Category: ‘This is not a celebrity gossip blog’

Unabashed Schooling: Sandra B. READS Kathy G.

February 25th, 2010

I came across audio from the Howard Stern Show with guest Sandra Bernhard waxing poetic on fake, phony, and one shtick pony, Kathy Griffin.

Feasting on a Kathy Salad

Feasting on a Kathy Salad

Stern: We had Kathy Griffin here yesterday.

SB: Oh God.  Jesus Christ.

Stern: Tell me your feelings.  I want to know because you are an elder statesman of comedy.

SB: Well she’s no spring chicken but listen…she came to success late in life.  She loves my ass and she’s come to see many times and she’s taken my basic premise which is to disseminate pop culture.  However, when you’re somebody of my level and intellectual ability, I take it and I layer it.  I don’t just throw a cake.  I  give you a seven-layer sacre torte.  She came and took the base elements of what I did and–who can’t put on a Kate Gosselin wig and go “Gahgaghgahgahgah!”  I mean that’s all she does, “Gahgahgahgahgah,” like a shrieking harpy freak.  Every time she has a special on Bravo it’s the same fucking special every goddamn time.  I’ve written fifteen shows in the past ten years and every one of them touches on something new and interesting that is really revealing where we’re headed as a culture.  I don’t just jump into the waters of present culture.  I’m on the precipice of what is happening.

Unabashedly Quotable: Says Celine D.

February 10th, 2010

“We did a miscarriage.”

-Celine Dion on the Oprah Winfrey Show

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b. murph: was it my fault?

December 20th, 2009

tv-animation-11I was literally–no joke–singing the praises of Brittany Murphy not 12 hours ago…and I wake up to find out she died this morning.  This is the first celebrity death of 2009 that makes me sad and B. makes me nervous that the entire casts of the Real Housewives of Atlanta and New Jersey are going to die because I was talking about them last night, too.  God, you can have all of them EXCEPT Kandi.

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Unabashed Blue Collar Fashion Show: Roseanne

December 15th, 2009

A dream come true:

FASHION HIGHLIGHTS FROM EVERY SINGLE EPISODE OF ROSEANNE.

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SO FIRE ME

Roseanne, Roseanne, Roseanne.  I live for the show.  I watch the same episodes over and over and glean something new every time.  GOD, I LOVE ROSEANNE.  I dare say it’s the best sitcom ever (minus the last two seasons).

Enough about me…Third and Delaware provides a thorough herstory of the  fashion of Roseanne as created by genius costume designer, Erin Quigley.

New favorite website.

Unabashed Serial Love: My Only Celeb Crush

December 15th, 2009

jeremydahmer

Fuck Hurt Locker, I wanted Jeremy Renner ever since I saw him portray serial killer, Jeffrey Dahmer, in the film, “Dahmer.”  I would let him fuck me, carve me up like so many Thanksgiving turkeys, and devour me any old day.

I thought I saw him once when I was drunk in West Hollywood and I was like, “You, you’re Jeffrey Dahmer–no, no, no I mean you played Jeffery Dahmer.”  And he denied it.  And I was like you’re not a big enough star to deny that you are who I know you are.  Rude.dahmer

Unabashedly Wrong: Kim & Nene Are Not Patsy & Edina

October 30th, 2009

This post was written last week during the 2nd part of the Real Housewives of Atlanta reunion:

I choked on my tofu stir-fry last night when Andy Cohen, the Bravo network exec (who turned himself into on-air personality [eye roll]), compared Real Housewives, Kim and Nene, to AbFab’s Patsy and Edina.  Pssshhhh!  Only in their wiggiest dreams.  Those ignorant bitches don’t even know who Patsy and Edina are.

Furthermore, Andy Cohen, you annoy the ever-loving shit out of me, you high-falutin’ gay media honcho.  But I’d fuck you–and by I’d fuck you, I mean you’d fuck me, of course.

Bossy Bottom in the house.

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Unabashed Jury Misconduct

October 22nd, 2009

weirdal1Once a year, Ed Asner has to do it.

So does Weird Al Yankovic.

Camryn Manheim has to do it, too.

No, I’m not talking about a prostate exam.  I’m talking about jury duty.

It was my privilege to wait in the LA County Superior Court Jury Assembly room all day, only to be escorted to security for taking these photos.

edasner

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Unabashedly Endorsed: Cynthia McFadden Loves My Cynthia McFadden

October 2nd, 2009

cynthia-reply21cynmatt1

Unabashed Outtakes: Everybody Hates Tyra

October 2nd, 2009

EHT Extras

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Unabashedly Tired: I Tuck Tyra into Bed

September 17th, 2009

tyra-banks-cynthia-mcfadden-interview-parody-video

Go to sleep, Tyra, you’re tired.  Fierce on, Cynthia!

Click HERE to see the original interview.