Tag: ‘Sandra Bernhard’

Unabashed Jesus Apocolypse: 21 May 2011

May 20th, 2011

“It’s the end of the world. There’s a hundred people left in LA; I’m one of them. We’ve all taken to wearing big studded leather jackets and mohawks. We siphon gas out of cars and we eat candy bars. We don’t brush our teeth anymore and we don’t have any emotions left. Only the strongest of the species have survived. Tina Turner is with us.”  -Sandra Bernhard

Unabashed Shocker: J’Hate Sex and the City (and GLEE for that matter)

May 27th, 2010

I hate Sex and the City

I hate the entire SATC franchise

I hate the acronym SATC

I hate the slutty one who was in Mannequin

I hate Carrie’s voice-overs

I hate New York City

I hate rich white bitches

I hate alleged fashionistas

Not all of us queens like this shit, okay ladies?  Oh and while I’m on the topic: FUCK GLEE, TOO.

Now listen to Sandra B. explain why she turned down the role of Miranda:

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G-KmCaOi8aw&feature=player_embedded

THIS JUST IN from the New York Times re: Liza Minelli performing “All The Single Ladies” in SATC 2.

“Her version is in no way superior to the one in ‘Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel,’ and it is somehow both the high point of ‘Sex and the City 2′ and a grim harbinger of what is to come.”

Unabashed Schooling: Sandra B. READS Kathy G.

February 25th, 2010

I came across audio from the Howard Stern Show with guest Sandra Bernhard waxing poetic on fake, phony, and one shtick pony, Kathy Griffin.

Feasting on a Kathy Salad

Feasting on a Kathy Salad

Stern: We had Kathy Griffin here yesterday.

SB: Oh God.  Jesus Christ.

Stern: Tell me your feelings.  I want to know because you are an elder statesman of comedy.

SB: Well she’s no spring chicken but listen…she came to success late in life.  She loves my ass and she’s come to see many times and she’s taken my basic premise which is to disseminate pop culture.  However, when you’re somebody of my level and intellectual ability, I take it and I layer it.  I don’t just throw a cake.  I  give you a seven-layer sacre torte.  She came and took the base elements of what I did and–who can’t put on a Kate Gosselin wig and go “Gahgaghgahgahgah!”  I mean that’s all she does, “Gahgahgahgahgah,” like a shrieking harpy freak.  Every time she has a special on Bravo it’s the same fucking special every goddamn time.  I’ve written fifteen shows in the past ten years and every one of them touches on something new and interesting that is really revealing where we’re headed as a culture.  I don’t just jump into the waters of present culture.  I’m on the precipice of what is happening.

Unabashed Lesbian Office Space

May 13th, 2009

Brian was sick of hearing about a co-worker’s tuna-scented fingers and the BEST FACEBOOK STATUS exchange EVER ensued…Click HERE.