Category: ‘Smut’

Unabashedly Blazin’: Nicki M. spread on Crackerz

February 25th, 2011

I resisted the Minaj due to my loyalty to Kimberly Jones AKA Lil’ Kim AKA Miss White AKA Queen Bitch but Kim has made it difficult for me lately: the extensive plastic surgery (hates herself), the not-so-good tracks she’s putting out, the Dancing with the Stars…

Minaj’s style is wack and she’s definitely stepping on Kim’s Louboutins, however, I cannot resist Blazin’ featuring tool, Kanye West, and sampling that Breakfast Club song. “hey hey hey hey ooo ooo ooo,” you know the one.

So I was doing the YouTube search seeing what kind of remixes or live version were floatin’ around and I came across three young crackers covering Ms. Minaj.  The first chick won’t sing the curse words and the next two are cute underage twinks.  Enjoy!  [PS...favorite line of song: "Soccer moms need to organize a pep rall/Your game over bitch/Gatorade, wet towel"]

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Posted in Fierce (and not in a Tyra kind of way), Help, I can't stop, Just Cause We're Both Famous Doesn't Mean We're Friends, Smut | No Comments »

Unabashedly Served: The Legends Ball

July 6th, 2010

I only participate in gay pride festivities in cities where gay visibility is needed.  I look forward to the future fag functions in my new home of Iowa City, Iowa, where hate groups à la Westboro Baptist Church still line the parade route using their inbred children as pawns.  LA, New York, San Francisco: count me out; I’m not interested in the fracas.

But then there are the subsets of the major cities’ festivals.  Black gay pride festivals take place in Chicago, Atlanta, Philadelphia, and this past weekend, Los Angeles Black Pride.  Among day trips to the beach in Malibu and dance parties downtown, one of the pinnacle events was The Legends Ball hosted by Mother Devine Chanel and Arnold Allure of House of Chanel and House of Allure, respectively.  If you don’t know what I’m talking about, wiki it or rent Paris Is Burning, but be gone until you do so.  [Pics after the jump.]

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-OVCowzwPWY

(more…)

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Posted in Drag Names, fatherless gays, Fierce (and not in a Tyra kind of way), Filth, Help, I can't stop, Queers can kill, Smut, Unabashed Queer Icon, Uncategorized | 1 Comment »

Unabashed Casting Call: Grease XXX

March 2nd, 2010

Porn director Axel Braun (take a rock star’s first name and pair it with a paper towel company) announced yesterday that he is holding auditions for “Grease XXX,” a “big-budget (porn) parody” of the 1978 film, “Grease.”118120_r3Per the Xbiz website: The movie will feature five different dance numbers requiring talent to do their own singing and dancing.

Per director, Braun: “Many performers are incredibly talented individuals who have simply chosen to make their living in the adult industry for personal reasons. ‘Grease XXX’ will give all of them a real opportunity to shine!”

A real opporuntity to shine.  In Grease.  I bet that wasn’t on purpose, either.

I’m gonna take a shot — a greasy, shiny shot — at possible song/dance numbers to be included:

Hopelessly Devoted to Goo

Born to Hand Job

Summer Dykes

You’re the One that I Want (to fuck)

Look at Me, I’m Tommy Lee

There Aren’t Worse Things I Could Do

We Cum Together

Posted in fatherless gays, Filth, HIV/AIDS/STD/STI/Heebie Jeebies, No-List Celebrities, Smut, Test of my Gag Reflex, Tragedy Train, Why | No Comments »

Unabashed Serial Love: My Only Celeb Crush

December 15th, 2009

jeremydahmer

Fuck Hurt Locker, I wanted Jeremy Renner ever since I saw him portray serial killer, Jeffrey Dahmer, in the film, “Dahmer.”  I would let him fuck me, carve me up like so many Thanksgiving turkeys, and devour me any old day.

I thought I saw him once when I was drunk in West Hollywood and I was like, “You, you’re Jeffrey Dahmer–no, no, no I mean you played Jeffery Dahmer.”  And he denied it.  And I was like you’re not a big enough star to deny that you are who I know you are.  Rude.dahmer

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Posted in fatherless gays, Gay Men Will Fuck Anything, GWM ISO PNP 69 WEHO BB HIV MASC MUSC VGL NO FATS OR FEMS, Help, I can't stop, No-List Celebrities, Queers can kill, Smut, This is not a celebrity gossip blog | 1 Comment »

Unabashed Hard Core Flashback: Lil’ Kim Does Daytime Talk in 1997

September 8th, 2009

Do you remember Rolanda?  Don’t front like you don’t remember Rolanda.  I know I do.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lFOGfvxr3fg

I musta missed this episode.  Rolanda reads dirty Lil’ Kim lyrics aloud (2:26), Kim doles out sex advice to a 12 year-old fan (3:38) and freaks out some gangsta rap-hating cracker (6:03).

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Posted in Fierce (and not in a Tyra kind of way), Filth, Smut, This is not a celebrity gossip blog, Tragedy Train | No Comments »

Unabashed Sex Club Reality: Parts 1 & 2

September 7th, 2009

My fearless standby, Queerty, has published parts 1 & 2 of my gay sex club piece:

And They’re Always Glad You Came* & The Cock is Dicking

from Queerty.com

*Part 1 was originally published last April by another gay publication but was subsequently (and without warning or explanation) removed along with my now-infamous HIV/porn piece. 

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Posted in Filth, Gay Men Will Fuck Anything, Help, I can't stop, HIV/AIDS/STD/STI/Heebie Jeebies, Queers can kill, Queerty, Smut, Tragedy Train | No Comments »

Unabashed Day in the Life: The Ass Doctor Cometh

August 30th, 2009
Tools of the Trade

Tools of the Trade, 8/26/09

I wish I could say I was simply going for my yearly PAP but the fact of the matter is that I had a hemorrhoid flare-up.  

My ass doctor is 6 foot 5 inches tall and has abnormally soft hands.  I imagine him preparing for bed, slathering each hand in not-for-resale, doctor’s office samples of KY Warming Jelly (or “Gelee” as they say in France, or “Gigli” as they say in the Bronx) sealing the moisture in with latex gloves. (more…)

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Posted in Fierce (and not in a Tyra kind of way), Filth, Smut | No Comments »