Urrrrrrrybody knows I love A&E’s Beyond Scared Straight. After a few seasons of BSS, naughty teens have come to expect the standard threats of prison rape (“You got a pretty mouth, boy.”) and lifetimes of bitchdom (“You’re gonna be washing my drawers!”). So one ingenious prisoner at St. Clair County Jail in Illinois took a different approach, forcing an ardently racist white sixteen-year-old to comb his chest hair, “AND IT BETTER NOT HURT.”
I thought this was a fucking Sally Field Boniva commercial. Alas, it’s a promo for the new Andie MacDowell vehicle, ahem, Debbie Macomber’s Cedar Cove. There musta been some other Cedar Cove situation unless ol’ Debz Macomber has some sort of special name recognition factor that I have failed to appreciate. Anyways, the Natalie Merchant music came on and…
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I DVR three Judge Judy episodes per day. Bitch only gets better with age. In fact, I think she’s softening up a bit. ANYHOO. You know you have to be some sort of marginal freak to voluntarily sign up to be on the show. Below are a few of my faves.