The argument I’ve had with a lot of gays is that they essentially present themselves as women. So, you tell your straight assistant, “Hey, go out to my car, get this sack of concrete out of my trunk and bring it to the office,” and he goes and does it. But if I turn to my gay assistant and ask him to do that—and I had a gay assistant—he’d turn to me and be like, “Are you high, buddy?”

With Tori Amos in 2005

The logic of Adam’s argument is murky at best.  What he seems to be saying is that gay men, like women, are either A. insubordinate to straight men or B. feel that physical labor of any kind is a man’s work.  While this is typical Carolla shtick—-his argument is both ineffective and problematic.

Since I am the gay male assistant Adam is using as an example, I can say that my response to him had more to do with my personality and sense of humor and less to do with my queerness.  His example is not indicative of gay men, it’s indicative of Matt Siegel.  Or it was at the time.

I don’t remember any specific incident like this but I can definitely see jokingly serving him some snark in response to a request like this.  It irks me that five years later, he pulls something like this out of context and makes it exemplary of all gay men.  And women for that matter.

In reality, I did a lot of manual work for him because that was the bulk of what he asked for.  I helped put up trellises all along the perimeter of his property because he was paranoid that a gang of violent men in the Hollywood Hills was watching his house (a psychic guest on Loveline planted this seed in his gargantuan head).  I became well-acquainted with the Do It Center in North Hollywood and Stock Building Supply (both L.A. and valley locations).  Just the other day, one of my students made reference to a Sawzall and I knew what it was thanks to my time with Adam.  (A Sawzall is some kind of saw power tool situation.)

The most problematic part of Adam’s sentiment is that, in this climate of extreme hostility toward gay and queer people, even though he may say “I like gays.  I have gay friends,” this sort of discourse only fuels the anti-gay inclinations among his target audience:  young, straight men.  I wish he would leave me out of that.

And I guarantee you that after a comic “what you talkin’ bout Willis?” moment, I brought in the fucking concrete.

[If you want to know more about my Carolla experience, read my 2009 Queerty piece.]